To his GP, the hypochondriac said ‘My life is an ocean of dread’ The reply was humane: ‘Your mind’s a flood-plain, You just need a tap on the head.

*** A linguist who went on vacation Got ill when eating crustacean His syntax grew chronic He became schizo-phonic They said he was lost-in-translation.

*** A Monk on a flight from Tibet Said, ‘it’s been 90 long days since I ate, To quench human fires I reject all desires Here pass me that Jumbo baguette.’

*** A fortune teller made a prediction That Christ would survive the crucifixion But an atheist said, ‘When you’re dead, you’re dead and anything else is just fiction.